Disagree

Planted 02024-07-24

you can expect 3 different kinds of responses when you propose something:

• A disagreement on outcome. There is a fundamental disagreement between you and the other person on the end desire or goal that you want to achieve.
• A disagreement on mechanism. While your goal may be shared by the other person, there is disagreement on the proposed solution to reach that goal.
• An agreement and alignment. There is both agreement on outcome as well as the mechanism to achieve that outcome.

Handling objections to your proposal

Agree and commit, disagree and commit, or get out of the way

Disagree and commit

If two people in an interaction have conflicting object-level preferences, one will “mostly lead” and the other will “mostly follow”

Social status part 1/2: negotiations over object-level preferences

Long Now Foundation debate format

The point of Long Now debates is not win-lose. The point is public clarity and deep understanding, leading to action graced with nuance and built-in adaptivity, with long-term responsibility in mind.

In operation, “There are two debaters, Alice and Bob. Alice takes the podium, makes her argument. Then Bob takes her place, but before he can present his counter-argument, he must summarize Alice’s argument to her satisfaction — a demonstration of respect and good faith. Only when Alice agrees that Bob has got it right is he permitted to proceed with his own argument — and then, when he’s finished, Alice must summarize it to his satisfaction.”

Mutual understanding is enforced by a reciprocal requirement to describe the other’s argument to their satisfaction, with the goal being more understanding after the event than there was beforehand.